Real relationships involve real emotions and they need effort and commitment to work. And since we, humans, are fallible, we will inevitably hurt people and people will hurt us. Pain is all part of living. Pain and hurt is just as real as love.

God knew all this, so He provided us with practical wisdom about relationships in the Bible to guide us and help us get past the challenges of a wounded relationship.

Mark 10:27 “With God, all things are possible” — He can untangle the most complicated relationship web and soothe a wounded heart.

Proverbs 18:21 “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” — Words are powerful. When used in perverse and corrupt speech, they can slash through the heart. The Bible warns us about this as this creates a rift in a relationship and drives people away.

We may not notice right away the effects of our hurtful words and unfair accusations, but over time the relationship will become strained. What starts as a strained relationship will become an openly hostile one if the infliction of hurtful words and the hurt isn’t addressed.

Psalm 141:3 David ask God to “set guard” over our mouths and hands. — Remember that hurtful words are not limited on what we say, it also include what we type, text or post online.

Ephesians 4:29 “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” — This is our main goal, something every one of us should start practicing.

What if the damage has already been done?

Jesus wants us to make a godly appeal. This involves approaching someone we’ve hurt of who have hurt us with the right tone, timing, spirit and love. We have to approach them when they have something against us (Matthew 5:23-24) and if we have something against them (Matthew 18:15-20).

I know this is especially hard to do and it takes a lot of humility, but God will help us through if we come to Him for guidance.

Doing it the right way

Matthew 18:15-20 “If your brother or sister sins, go and point their fault, just between the two of you.” — We must follow what God told us, confront the person first before resorting to sharing the matter with others. A godly friend or mentor may be involved if the meeting is going to be especially tensed. However, bringing a trusted mediator is not the same us sharing the issue with other people and gossiping about it.

Matthew 5:7; 6:14-15 Often, we will have to confess our own faults and show mercy in order to receive it from others and from God.

Relationships take time to build and can be brought down quickly by a careless word. The healing may take time, but if we put our faith in God and ask for his guidance, everything will soon heal and mend.

Whether you’ve been hurt by your friend, colleague, your family member, or your significant other, the Lord wants us to heal and restore a wounded or broken relationship.

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